a marathoner stares at another intimidating him with his thick potent unibrow

#13 "Alpha Brow"

Some people do whatever it takes to create an artificial divide in their most awesome unibrows. Electrolysis, lasers, and hand held mowers they keep in the bathroom are just some of the tools used to destroy such an amazingly powerful and beautiful look. Frida Kahlo (see comic #171) embraced her unibrow, seemingly, as her self-portraits all had that gorgeous brow of hers in them. Others like Bert from Sesame Street, Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons, Helga G. Pataki from Hey Arnold, and Leonid Brezhenev all have sported their brows proudly (for those of you who don't know who Leonid Brezhenev was...he was a famous character in a Russian cartoon called That Krazy Kremlin, a.k.a. что сумасшедшие kremiln)

The female of our species is more likely to have hair removed from her body. Somewhere along the line women started to believe being hairless almost everywhere but your head is the way to be. In evolution, the opposite sex plays a big part in driving the changes in the body characteristics through natural selection of partners who display certain traits. In the case of humans, at some point in our history, men must have picked certain women with less and lighter hair on their faces, as in modern times most women don't have the capability of growing full beards. They have hair on their faces, but it's hard to see. As for hairless legs, coiffed eyebrows, and any other place where women are removing their hair, this is actually fooling men into thinking women are hairless. It's very hard to tell which women have less body hair than others. Men might accidentally be choosing women with more hair, and the female of the species is actually becoming more hairy. Women will forever be trapped in paying for hair removal methods (as long as the belief system stays entrenched).

The classic alien extraterrestrials (called greys) seem to be hairless. I think of these aliens as symbols from our unconscious that represent a higher human being. They're not only hairless, but have big eyes and seem very intelligent. Some women want those bigger eyes, and some men like such peeps very much.

One time long ago, the thought popped into my head that men with male pattern baldness are on the cutting edge of evolution. The future is no hair anywhere, and these men are leading us there. I believe evolution will eventually lead to us looking like these grey aliens. We'll become hairless, big-eyed, overly-technological, and big-headed beings. Though, I think we'll be very tall, artificially telepathic from technological implants, and all be up-talkers (and when we ask a question, we'll either down-talk or raise our voice to such a high pitch only dogs will know when we're enquiring about something).

As for up-talking...it seems to be going viral...and it's like fingernails on a blackboard.

Creative Stuff I Like


Thanks for stopping by. Occasionally, this comic might not be safe for kids (NSFK). To keep updated, please connect to my RSS feed.

Crusted Salt comics by Jimmy Brunelle