a one panel comic strip with runner smoking a cigarrette playing mind games with an opponent before a marathon

#158 "Racing Tips #6: Follow And Conquer"

Another great tip to help runners find greater success in running races, whether it be a 5k, marathon or ultramarathon. Publically available information makes for solid gamesmanship. Yet, I'm always horrified when I discover a misspelling in one of my comics—one that has been posted long enough so that at least a few people have seen it. When it comes to my online running log and race reports, the level of embarrassment and shame is not so great for some reason, but still feels like the slaps to the back of my head that my first grade teacher (nun) used to give me (usually when I was trying to impress a certain girl).

When I find a mistake, I'll utter something dirty-mouthed, then rush to fix it. Hopefully, uploading the fix before someone else sees it. I often create more mistakes in my haste. At least a few times, complete disappearance of the website from the internet has been the result. When that happens, and I don't discover it until the next day, I fall to the floor, fold myself into a ball and speak in tongues for about ten minutes. Then I get up and resume my quest for perfection.

This "ball-tongues" technique works for releasing the inner horror—I highly recommend it. If you intend to try this at work, warn your boss first. If you work at certain churches, you probably don't have to, as some welcome spontaneous ball-tonguing. Never do it while driving. Pull over, get out and do it on the sidewalk, shoulder, or breakdown lane.

If you realize the mistake while running a marathon (some people check their websites on their smartphones while racing), fix it with your phone if possible. If it isn't possible, DNF, go home right away, "ball—tongue", fix the mistake, and then enjoy the peace from the temporary perfection.

Follow these suggestions at your own risk. They might be coming from a crazy person.

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Crusted Salt comics by Jimmy Brunelle