#196 "Lab Coat Attack"
In science news... Elon Musk (CEO, CTO, and BFF of SpaceX and Tesla), has announced the invention of a solar powered computer that interfaces with the brain, stimulating the same areas that light
up when Zen masters meditate in MRI machines. Musk's ultimate vision is to populate Mars with enlightened human beings only. His interface will
create an enlightened human being within seconds, as opposed to the lifetime of meditation needed in most religious disciplines. This has
many cults, religions, temples, and monasteries giving a collective poopooing of Musk's vision. A spokesman for a fringe Buddhist organization in
California said, "This is an attack by science on God's set-in-stone game of illumination. Anyone who is anyone in the business of nirvana knows it takes multiple lifetimes to develop the conditions in one's
soul for the achievement of enlightenment and freedom from the wheel of suffering. Mr. Musk might be able to make a good battery and a cute little rocket that parks itself, but
he, or anyone in a lab coat, or anyone who thinks they are a smartypants, can't change the nature of the universe and the personal, subjective reality of the human being. By the way, I drive a Tesla, and it's freakin' awesome. "
A spokesman for Musk released the following press release, "I am God, I've known this since I was eight years-old when
I made a dish of chicken vindaloo appear in my bedroom just by thinking about it really, really hard. It was delicious and hot.
I realized that if I could do that, I could manifest boiled Maine lobster, and I did, and I knew if I could do that, I could manifest a race
of cyborgs that would someday populate that beautiful red planet, Mars, and be kind to each other. This will happen, and not only that, everyone will invest in
any stock that I offer up to the public, no matter what the earnings are. It will be as Elon has conceived."
A spokesman for the deceased soul of the actual Buddha (who is channeled through a one-armed trance-medium in Switzerland) said, "this
new generation just doesn't know how to wait anymore. #StillMind"
A spokesman for the millennial generation said, "we're very happy that The Buddha speaks in 140 characters or less and uses hashtags."
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Crusted Salt comics by Jimmy Brunelle