#30 "Tales Of The Unshod #4: The F.U.R. Greeting"
I'm a member of Kappa Delta Phi national fraternity, Epsilon chapter. I pledged in the spring of 1980 at Rhode Island College. I will
neither confirm nor deny that we had a secret handshake, or a footshake. I can also neither confirm nor deny that their
was any form of hazing, especially any that required bare feet. Others at the school during that semester can confirm
seven young men acting like fools in the cafeteria, which didn't bother me, since I was studying theater at the time.
It was just another show.
Some think joining a fraternity is stupid, but it's only an identity to assume for awhile, or maybe a lifetime. Assuming identities
is a human trait. We like to become. Perhaps, it's an escape from from the reality of inner nothingness as some eastern religions
will have me believe, or maybe it's like the theater, and like actors, we're just having all sorts of fun. I think it's the latter.
The term barefoot runner is an identity based on an activity done with a bare part of the body. I believe that assuming identities
based on such activities should be a genre. Things like bare-elbow eater, barelobe listener, bareknee groveler,
barebrow seducer, barebum urinator, barenipple dater, barelip sycophant, and barefinger bellybutton lint picker
could all be in it.
Assuming identities can go a bit far, especially if the rules of the game become so important and all-consuming that one
wants everyone else to assume the same identity. Imagine a world in which barenosed busybodies have started an organization and
want everyone not in the club to be a member. They gain some power and soon everyone has to become a barenosed busybody. But I would resist.
When I'm doing my busybodying, I wear a nasal condem. Other people's business can be a bit unclean.
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Crusted Salt comics by Jimmy Brunelle