a comic strip Humpty Dumpty parody with Humpty being chased by a whisk, pan, and a spatula

#68 "REM Scramble"

Humpty Dumpty Redux
Humpty Dumpty had a big rump
Humpty Dumpty ate himself plump
All of his anger and all of his leg
Went up your butt if you called him an egg

Nowhere in any of the versions of the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme does it say he was an egg. So, there.

This comic is based on something very real. When I wasn't a runner, I would occasionally have dreams in which I couldn't run away from something, because my legs were too heavy, or suddenly I was running through quicksand. The worst was figure skating on a hardwood gymnasium floor—it's like fingernails on a chalkboard when I think of that dream.

When I became a runner and started to run marathons, I began to have all sorts of marathon nightmares. The most common themes are lateness to the starting line, getting lost and trying to find my back to the course, and not being able to move my legs fast enough to keep up. My favorites are the ones in which the marathon courses go through people's houses and places of business. Although, in those I tend to be running by myself through someone's living room, restaurant, or bar.

I don't take dreams for granted. I think dreaming is an amazingly creative ability. The incredibly vivid details of the landscapes, people, emotions and storylines that I experience every night just blow my mind. I don't I know how I do it, but I can, and seemingly without effort. It's pretty magical.

Finally, I want to say that I commiserate strongly with Humpty in the above comic. It must be hell to be chased by the implements of your predator who would scramble you and serve you up with a piece of one of the Three Little Piggies. For a human runner, it would be the same as being chased by overtraining, injury, and a hurricane bearing down on your marathon city threatening to cancel the race for which you trained six long months.

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Crusted Salt comics by Jimmy Brunelle