a parody comic strip of the hare versus the tortoise ending in a lesson of love

#82 "Lessons In Slow"

I can't imagine living life as slowly as a tortoise. Zip-zip-zip goes my day as I try to get through my daily, mundane duties and get to the fun stuff. Like an efficiently hare-quick restaurant worker, I zoom through the boring stuff gracefully and with few mistakes. I sometimes hear "slow down, there's no reason to hurry." Uh, sorry, but yes there is. Death is coming. It lurks. If I can get through these tasks as fast as possible, I might be able to get to the end of the latest series I'm binging upon on Netflix before leaving my mortal coil. I don't want to spend eternity wondering how the show turned out. Since life is pretty absurd and (in addition to the joy and beauty) full of hellish situations, I wouldn't put it past "life" for there to be an afterlife in which we exist in nothingness with consciousness and memory. Eternal hell is forever wondering how Lost, Friday Night Lights, and House of Cards ended. So, while I'm maintaining the highest quality of work, I'm going like a hare on speed.

Wait! The thought just crossed my mind that (due to the possibility of such a hell) at some point, I'm going to have to stop watching TV and movies, and even stop reading books and listening to people's stories. Dying sometimes comes instantly and I need to make sure that there are no loose ends. I'm going into eternity with complete stories in my consciousness. Then I can enjoy endless and complete reruns.

Wait! I just remembered. HBO cancelled Carnivale before it resolved. There's also Awake and Lois and Clark's mystery baby. Oh, no, I am so screwed...

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Crusted Salt comics by Jimmy Brunelle